Thanks, Leslie. I finished Assignment one today. It's crazy to look at. I didn't know I was this down. It's good to know so I can change it. I'll post it on my T.com blog. I'm scared of Assignment 2 for some reason.
Today is my free day. I was planning to gorge on brownines and ice cream and cake. But a little taste of pumpkin pie, one pancake, and some frog eye salad...and it's just not as satisfying as I thought it would be. My body is feeling sluggish and I don't know if it's a mental thing or what. But I think I'll be ending my binge day early. I have a goal to be done by 2 pm today then get back to my "diet" (I still don't feel like it's a diet.) No sense in undoing all the good that I've done. Continue on and keep progressing!!
I'll exercise today on the treadmill. I always plan to "just walk today" but it ends up that I feel lazy and end up running. Why do I think I have to kill myself during a work out to do any good? We'll see what happens. Jesse's gone so I'll have to wait until tonight when the kids are in bed.
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I don't think it is the food that we really want. I think it is the relationship with food that we want. Each food that we eat has emotional ties to experiences in our lives. My mother worked full time and was a very burdened and overworked lady, but she always took time to make a big Saturday breakfast. It was less about the breakfast and more about the time she spent with us, serving us, talking to us, and just being there. When I want to bond with my kids, I make them a big Saturday breakfast--Is it really the pancakes--probably not. Andy has a similar experience with icecream. Whenever his dad was proud of him or wanted to bond, he would take him out for icecream. Andy does the same thing when he wants to have special time with someone. It isn't about the icecream either. I've been trying to create the same moments without the food. Sometimes I am successful but other times (like christmas Eve), I just wanted the dang meatballs! It's funny how much this whole process has helped me evaluate my relationship with food.
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