I showed up - and today that has to be good enough.
Struggling
today, feel like crap - more emotional than physical - but some physical too,
kind of want to quit - how's that for honesty?
Here's hoping for a
better rest of the day.
OK - so here's my REAL post for today :).
Food:
- Snickers protein bar
- granny smith apple with a *little peanut butter* and cottage cheese
- beef jerky & yogurt
- rice/meat - green salad
- mint protein bar
- ??? possibly a fruit/protein shake....we'll see if I get to it
How I'm feeling: LOVED, overwhelmed, frustrated, grateful, tired, inspired.....a whole bunch of feelings. I won't bore you with all of them - but I haven't had one of the best attitudes today. A bunch of things all rolled into one - and I just have been feeling down on myself, frustrated with my abilities with working out, irritated that I wasn't responding the kindest to my kids - lots of feelings. I don't know if any of you get that way - but basically just a day when I wanted to cry and cry and hide for the day.
So I got to Leslie's and guess what I did? CRY. So embarrased, but it was one of those times that the flood gates just started. I felt silly at first - but then I remembered something - Leslie LOVES me! (She loves all of us!) I don't know what it is about Leslie - but she has this ability to make me feel like I can do it. I've always felt that from her - ever since we became friends years ago. I feel like Leslie sees me very differently from how I see myself. I think she sees me in a more eternal sense....more like our Heavenly Father sees us.
So that got me thinking - wouldn't it be wonderful if we could all see ourselves and our potential as our Heavenly Father does? It must just break his heart when he sees us belittle ourselves, or be down on ourselves. He must just ache for the days when he can hold us and remind us of who we are - DAUGHTERS OF GOD! We are worth it!
And even though I've still had some more grumpy moments - I am trying to see myself with more confidence and remind myself that I CAN DO IT!
Gratitudes:
- The eternal princple that we have a Heavenly Father who loves us dearly. Without that, sometimes it might not quite be worth some of the garbage we go through....
- Friends - people who loves us anyway. People who pray for us, lift us up, and call to say, "Can your son come play while the other one is down for a nap?" :)
- Living here in sweet Enoch Utah. I complain at times - but it's a pretty awesome place and today I'm grateful it's where I'm at!
- Down 4.8 lbs since we started - and that's even with my TOM...which I'm hoping means I've lost more :)
Joanna, I'm so proud of you for showing up and giving it what you've got. Some days are harder than others and that is ok! There is no such thing as a "bad" workout, because the alternative is no workout and that is way worse. You had a major triumph by pushing through those last sets. I know it was hard, but YOU DID IT ANYWAY! I'm so proud of you! Leslie
ReplyDeleteJoanna, I am so glad that someone else has the same feelings as I do sometimes. You are awesome!! I love reading your posts because I can relate!! Thank you!!
ReplyDeleteSo I totally bawled on Tuesday. So don't feel too bad. You're not the only one.
ReplyDeleteI am so proud of you! Your results are awesome. Mine, not so awesome. AND it is my TOM for the first time in a freakin' year. Talk about feeling like my body is totally screwed up. I had been nauseated for like 2 weeks to the point that I took a prego test. But it was just my little monthly visitor sending me little hints to make me miserable a little early.
Anyway. I love you and appreciate all that you do. You are an awesome person that is so willing to help others that I think you forget to help yourself. So take those long baths that I know you love so much and remember to take care of yourself. You are just as important as all the hundreds of others that you serve.
Joanna- I love that you posted this, I am crying reading it, I am a ball baby anyway so your in good company I am the worst! you guys are great! I think most of all I love that we are all just human!!
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